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Shadows of the Damned thinks your Johnson isn’t big enough

Travis Bruno
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Do you think that your Johnson is just not up to snuff sometimes? Are your enemies laughing at your Johnson because it seems so weak and small? Well you won’t have to worry about that anymore because EA and Grasshopper Manufacture are here to tell you all of the different ways you can enlarge your Johnson.

In a trailer released today you can find out how to make Garcia’s talking skull gun named Johnson much stronger. This includes waving your Johnson around and hitting things with it; making it grow extremely large at a moments notice among a number of other things. I can go on for hours like this but you should definitely take a look at the trailer and its infomercial feel as it is certainly worth a laugh or five.

No More Heroes: Paradise releasing on August 16th

Travis Bruno
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Konami has been quiet about an actual release date for No More Heroes: Paradise in the West. Sure the title is being released in Japan shortly is called No More Heroes: Red Zone but we won’t have to be waiting very long for this enhanced version of the title to make its way overseas. Today Konami revealed that they will be bringing No More Heroes: Paradise with all of its enhancements to North America on August 16th for the PlayStation 3.

This means that at the tail end of Summer we will be able to experience all of the new features included in Paradise, including a number of bug fixes, boss fights with leaderboards against a number of bosses, ten new missions, four new beam katanas, four new bikes, a free camera mode for all the different characters, Travis’ hotel room and last but not least the enhanced visuals that come from the PS3 and of course PlayStation Move support. This means that you’ll be getting practically an entirely new experience this August.

New Wrecked Gameplay Trailer

Michael Irving
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New Wrecked Gameplay Trailer

Now kiddies, do you remember your three R’s? What? Reading, writing, arithmetic? Uuh, no! Only one of those actually starts with R! Jeez.

No, obviously, the three R’s refer to Wrecked: Revenge Revisited, the new Mario Kart-cross-Destruction Derby game from 505 Games.

Ignore the clunky name, and endure the cringe-inducing taunts of the characters, and the game looks solid and fun. And coming from the creators of Mashed and Micro Machines 4, it should be. I usually find driving games pretty boring, but those with a combat element make things more interesting. Wrecked gives players 14 weapons to change the tide of the race, from the standard forward-firing rockets to the more unique force-field pulse, useful for pushing overtakers off bridges.

505 promises a single player mode to hone your mad skillz, but the major drawcard is the 4-player mode, online and off – this looks like a blast with mates and drinks on a Friday night.

Wrecked: Revenge Revisited is due for release onto Xbox Live Arcade and the Playstation Network sometime before August. Check out the gameplay trailer below.

Real-Life Angry Birds

Michael Irving
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I found this video in the course of my regular browsing, and it’s such an awesome idea I thought I’d share it.

As a promotion for a version of Angry Birds being released onto the Google Chrome app store this week, developer Rovio set up a giant, playable real-life Angry Birds set in a city in Spain. It sounds cooler in theory, and doesn’t quite pan out as well as my unrealistic expectations had hoped, but still, it’s awesome.Watching stuff fall over and pigs exploding is still really satisfying, despite the dodginess of real-life physics.And to top it off, there’s a live band playing the theme song.

You have to appreciate the effort that’s gone into this. It makes me think – what other games should have real-life playable models built?

Engineer Profession Announced For Guild Wars 2

Benjamin Webb
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The latest addition to the MMORPG Guild Wars 2 is the engineer profession. This profession is the master of mechanics and gadgets and a swathe of useable devices that will aid them in combat.

The engineer class is only able to use one weapon set at a time, but they overcome this setback by having the ability to set-up turrets, mines and elixer shooters. Each engineer has a range of tools that are used differently, like the backpack and weapons kits, which overtake the primary weapons role and allow them to use different kinds of abilities, like a flamethrower. They can also set up turrets, which are launched throughout the battlefield and can be moved in battle. Lastly, the engineer gets a toolbelt, which grants them extra skill slots and other abilities.

Make sure to visit the GuildWars 2 website for more info.

New From EA – Draw Jump and Need For Speed Update

Kyle Moore
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Some big news from EA this week. Firstly, EA have just released a new game, Draw Jump. If this isn’t enough for EA fans, then get your hands on the latest update for Need for Speed Hot Pursuit, now featuring autolog.

While Draw Jump might sound fairly close to Doodle Jump in title, the two are far from the same, apart from the act of jumping. Cosmo the rocket man needs some help reaching new heights, and the only way for this to happen is if you help out by drawing tampolines to launch him higher and higher. Draw Jump features six colourful and imaginative levels to jump through, as well as an environmental undertone. Cosmo doesn’t use any rocket fuel, but rather sunflower fuel cells as a means of boosting jumps. Finally, an eco-friendly form of space travel!

From sunflower fuel cells, to high-speed petrol fueled racing. EA have released a new update for Need for Speed Hot Pursuit. The latest update features: Speedwall, enabling you to compete with friends and compare scores on leaderboards, Autolog recommends to alert you when friends are racing and Autolog friends list that allows you to stay connected to your fellow racers.

Both games are available from www.eamobile.com.

Street Fighter X Tekken – Newest reveal trailer for a new Challenger

J. Bradshaw
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Two iconic fighting franchises are on the brink of an epic experience.  Street Fighter X Tekken is ready to set the world afire by combining these two character lists and fighting styles. Will it succeed?  Will the universe implode?  Will it explode?!  Who knows.  Only time will tell. In the meantime, check out the new trailer for the game.  Yes, 34 seconds of generic sword slashing noise and fighting poses is disappointing, but it is a trailer nonetheless.  And that is always exciting.  When your done watching, let us know what you thought and what your excitement level is for the game.

Nintendo announces 3DS Street Fighter IV and Streetpass Event.

Benjamin Webb
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Nintendo Super Street Fighter IV 3DS Tournament

Where: The Nintendo Experience, EB Games, 67 Swanston St – Melbourne
Where: The Nintendo Connection, Myer Sydney, Level 6, 436 George St – Sydney
When: 10AM – 5PM 28th May – Melbourne
When: 10AM – 5PM 29th May – Sydney
What you Will Need: 3DS, Super Street Fighter IV and either yourself or a robot duplicate.

On the 28th and 29th of May, this month actually, Nintendo will be holding a couple of Street Fighter IV tournaments for players to participate in.

This is quite fortunate for players who wish to pick up some more streetpass data as everyone in attendance will require their own 3DS units and a copy of Street Fighter IV in order to participate, should they want to use their own control scheme anyway. For those unwilling to bring their own 3DS’, Nintendo will have a few spare units to borrow, which will utilise the default scheme for SSFIV and the touchscreen LITE control setting.

The tournament is open to 128 participants only and is a first-come-first-served basis; this means that anyone who is late to the events regestration starting at 10AM will likely miss out on a spot if it is too popular. The tournament is not just fighting though, there is also a trivia event and a streetpass battle event, with each winning you a shirt and a hat, depending on which event you win.

Check out the News report on the Nintendo Website.

 

Games for Cats

Darren Resnekov
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It seems cats have moved even further ahead of humans on the evolutionary scale, and now as well as cleaning their litter boxes and providing them with food and shelter, are overtaking our Ipads. Friskies, the well known cat food manufacturer has launched 3 games specifically for your cat on the Ipad and Android platforms. They were written using HTML5/CSS3 and according to gamesforcats.com (yes they exist) the colours, movements and gameplay have been researched and tested for maximum feline enjoyment. Imagine getting hissed at by the cat as it tries to break billy the tomcat down the roads record on Play Cat fishing, Play tasty treasure hunts and Play party mix-up.

The games are essentially the same concept where the cat has to follow various objects on screen ranging from cat biscuits to swimming fish. The games keep individuals scores and owners (or cats depending on how smart they are); can post them online to ascertain the best reaction times. Also gives kids another weapon when trying to con their parents into buying an Ipad.  It’s for the cat.

Can’t decide between a PC and 360, get both!

Adam Tabor
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For many of us it would be hard to choose between a gaming system and a PC that can take care of all that we need. Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have to pick if some how, in some magical way we could get both without going broke? Dream no more if you are a student as Microsoft and certain retailers are giving one sweet deal. If you purchase a PC from one of the selected retailers for $699 or above you will get a 4GB Xbox 360 for free.

All that is required is that you present them with your .edu email address or go to a participating store and show your student ID. The offer starts the 23rd of this month and will run till September 3rd. So plenty of time to play some 360 before you have to put the system away to do your homework. Ok who am I kidding that 360 won’t be collecting dust.

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