Why does your companion hate Skyrim?

Are you a gamer that is lucky enough to enjoy the comfort of a significant-other? If so, then you have obviously been cheating on him/her by playing Skyrim. You may have noticed the irritation with you lately, and that is because more time has been spent slaying dragons than paying attention to his/her needs. I have surveyed a few people to gather their opinions on the very subject of Skyrim. The following may not represent every relationship, but the responses I received are very real.

1. I hate competing for his attention. I am a girlfriend and that is a game!

• As I was talking to him (while he was playing a game) he turned to me and asked “Do you want to have a talk later tonight?” I said sure and walked away. I then realized that this question was code for… leave me alone while I play! FML!

2. Don’t tell me you got married on the game. That will piss me off.

• You have had the game for less than a week and you are already married?! Whereas we have been together for two years… where the hell is my ring?

3. I have to act happy whenever he achieves a new spell.

• It’s pretty self-explanatory. I wasn’t actually impressed.

4. You remember the last “quest” you’re on, but you can’t remember our last conversation.

• Remember those wedding plans we talked about last night? Of course you don’t, but you remember the dragon you slain two days ago. (That was me. Ouch.)

5. Now, we have to plan events and evenings around Skyrim playing.

• We were going out to see the new “Harold and Kumar” movie, but we had to go to the early show in order for him to get back in time to continue on his quest.

6. His homework, hygiene, and eating have been put aside.

• Basically, I walked into his room where I could tell that he didn’t shower. You could wake up enough to crawl to the computer but not the bathroom?

7. Whenever there is a fellow Skyrim player in the near vicinity, I no longer exist.

• My boyfriend and I were eating alone in the pub. His friend and fellow Skyrim player came over and our dinner date turned into a Skyrim discussion. I lost my appetite.

8. I don’t know how to politely tell him “no” when he asks me to play.

• I put up with all the times that he wanted to create a character for me, but I will never play it. The best answer I can give him is “no”. Its bad enough that he expects me to know and understand the game let alone wanting to play it.

9. I have to show skin to get his attention.

• The Saturday after the release date I wore a shirt that said “Rub For Good Luck” across my chest. I was hoping that would work because I have no idea what else would.

10. If Skyrim never ends, I have no hope of getting him back.

• My fail safe was that hopefully someday he would finish the game. Now I find out that it never ends…

Addictive games like Skyrim require some sort of immersion to get the most fulfillment; however, I believe that video games should be enjoyed in moderation while completing daily responsibilities as well as maintaining social relationships – outside of Skyrim. If you have a significant-other that has expressed some of these responses, take a break and reassess your priorities.

If by any chance you have found a significant-other that plays Skyrim, you have unlocked the last achievement. Congratulations!

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