Golf Club: Wasteland cancelled thanks to Bezos | Public sale scrapped for one-off rich guy collectors edition

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Developer Poised To Cancel Golf Club: Wasteland for Public Sale | Lists One-off  “My Ticket Outta Here” Edition for $500 Million Instead

Demagog Studio founder intends to sell the game to one “stinking rich” individual to fund his own escape from Earth

19 July 2021, Warsaw Poland + Belgrade, Serbia | Indie game publisher Untold Tales is sad to announce that Golf Club: Wasteland, the apocalypse themed golf game set around the story of the ultra-rich fleeing to Mars, will potentially no longer be available to the general public.

With just a month before release and on the eve of yet another tech billionaire friting himself into space, Demagog Studio creative director Igor Simic has had a “wake up call”. He wants to pull the sale of his game from the public and instead sell it to one extravagantly rich individual. The sale is intended to help Simic secure his own ticket off Earth before the “inevitable climate, financial and political apocalypse comes for the rest of us plebs.”

Golf Club: Wasteland started off as pure satire. The ultra-rich playing golf on the remains of civilization after initially fleeing to Mars as Earth crumbled thanks to consumerism, climate disaster and Silicon Valley-fuelled greed. Well, now I’m not laughing anymore. These rocket obsessed billionaires like Musk, Bezos and Branson are already packing their designer bags, so it’s time I sorted out my own ticket off this doomed planet. –  Igor Simic, Demagog Studio Founder

The one-off edition of Golf Club: Wasteland, titled My Ticket Outta Here Edition by Simic, will be priced at around $ 500 million* and will be made exclusively available to one buyer.

“Since tickets for a recent 12 or so minute private space flight went for $28 million a pop, I’m hoping $500 million should be enough to at least get me a cheap seat next to the toilets for the final Mars flight. I’ve been told the price also needs to be adequate enough so that the potential buyer can reassuringly brag about it to their friends and Forbes Magazine.”

“To further secure the game’s value and exclusivity, I’ve decided to put this one-off version of the game entirely on floppy disks. This method will also allow me to use a custom formatting and copying process that so inefficiently uses computing power, it takes around 7 months to copy data onto one disk. This will help maximise the amount of environmental damage my video game can do, since I heard that’s also really important.“

As the publisher of the game, Untold Tales is still contractually obligated to deliver this version of the game to the market. “With floppy disks having a capacity of around 1.44mb each, the buyer of Golf Club: Wasteland should expect to get a canvas nylon duffel bag with around 750 plastic disks. I’ll see if we can put in a free t-shirt too. – Greg Pauper, Marketing Intern, Untold Tales. 

The publisher also stated that all other currently existing versions of the game will be deleted, buried in a New Mexico landfill, or reprogrammed to run on Linux, thus ensuring nobody else will ever play it.

When asked how the rest of the Demagog team felt about their collective work being used to benefit only one person, someone from HR (who assured us they were not Igor) robotically responded with: “At Demagog, we are a family and feel we are in this all together, no matter what. The reward is the work itself and knowing we achieved something great, as a family. Also please don’t try to unionize.”

For any parties interested in purchasing this edition, please contact Untold Tales via their website with the subject line “I have more money than sense”

*Free shipping not included.

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