BREAKING NEWS – UNSUSPECTING CUP OF JOE HAS BEEN ASSAULTED BY A WILD MOB OF DIRTY HIPSTERS
This just in – a gripping testimonial from an average cup of black coffee, brought to you by Televisor, an organization devoted to the eradication of all things flannel and neck beardy, and makers of the new App, Hipster Attack. The mission behind Hipster Attack is to shed light on the unjust acts committed by the neck bearded menaces against society and destroy them. Today, we bring you the story behind the coffee – what was once just plain cup of joe, sometimes with a bit of milk and sugar, has now been sullied by the hipster community. For more information and to help, please watch the below video, download it and spread the word.
WARNING – This video may feature sensitive content, not suitable for the emotionally fragile.
Hipster Attack is a new tower defense game in the vein of a certain plant-themed zombie killer, but instead of undead terrors, you’re battling mindless lemmings that obsess on trends, ironically of course, while trying to look like they’re “deeply” unique. That’s right, much worse than a blood-thirsty zombie, scientists call their kind “hipsters.” Players command a squad of brave and loyal workers from janitors to top-level HR managers in a fight against legions of hipsters who are trying to take over the local coffee shop.
Start out small, using your HR reps to fling job applications at the vinyl-spinning foes, then bolster your forces by adding resource-generating coffee makers (which also fire gobs of coffee beans as an alternate weapon!), sleepy (yet highly efficient) security guards, maids with mauling mops, and more!
Hipster Attack Key Features:
- Hipsters of all Shapes and Sizes: From the trendsetter, to poet, to the music master and …. the horrific being known only as flying tofu. The game abounds with a variety of hilarious hipsters to destroy!
- Unconventional Weapons and Abilities: Use your HR reps to chuck job applications and wads of paper at the hipsters! Players can power up coffee makers to shoot donuts at incoming enemies, cast the ‘Statue of Hipsterity’ to freeze hipsters in place, or set an ‘urban trap’ filled with stylish sunglasses and hot espresso as bait.
- Variety of Characters: Players start out with the junior HR employee, but as they progress through levels, they’ll get a higher level corporate team to take on the hipster onslaught. Utilize security guards, the logistics senior, and even the cleaning lady, to protect the coffee shop.
- Built-In Tongue in Cheek: Use tons of different weapons to take down the incoming waves of moustache-twirling, vinyl spinning hipsters. Hit ’em so hard that it knocks their $200 second-hand-store 80’s era denim vests right off! In-game economy is based off of two types of resources: coffee and money. Coffee provides energy and cash is motivation for workers — what more do you need?