Kit is sent to solitary confinement with a straight jacket where he thinks about his wife and is either crying or humping the mattress. Possibly both. Then the French girl shows up, slides some food under the door, and offers him a drag of a cigarette. She’s too nice. I’m predicting she’s either a hallucination, or has an outside purpose. She reveals her name is Grace and flounces off somewhere else.
Sister Eunice is crying over the checkerboard because one of the patients (whose only character details we got were the fact that he liked checkers) died. Man, this chick doesn’t seem to have the back bone to be working in a mental asylum for the criminally insane, she just looks like she should be living in a pink, plush room with millions of soft toys.
Sister Jude confronts Dr Arden about all the patients who have died under his care and they have a bit of a power struggle. There’s some insinuation that their bodies have gone to something that eats people (like the one that took Adam Levine’s arm, perhaps). Sister Jude makes a pretty awesome comment about how she always wins against the ‘patriarchal male’. Say what you will about her character, but she is actually a good feminist.
Lana is discussing chasing down the story of what is hiding at Briarcliff with her female partner, a teacher who would be fired if her sexuality were discovered. Oh hey here’s another happy couple, they’re totally going to get axed in one way or another. That’s one thing this season is missing, some loving relationships that actually last longer than a scene, last season had the family who actually (against all odds) ended up happy and loving. This season is looking to be far darker.
Back at the asylum, Sister Jude is cooking up a storm and wearing a bright (devilishly) red dress, which she covers with her nun robe before heading off to dinner with Monsignor Timothy Howard. Yeah, she’s totally gunning for him, oh Sister Jude you cougar, you.
She slips into a fantasy about the Monsignor telling her that he wants to become the Pope and take her with him, and then she takes off her robe and mounts him. Damn girl, you’ve got some sinful thoughts in your head after all. Kudos. Back in reality, he tells her that she needs to play nice with Dr Frankenstein and let him do his creepy business.
Speaking of creepy business, Dr Frankenstein and Sister Eunice are discussing the creatures outside the asylum who (judging by the buckets of human parts that the Sister takes out to them) have an appetite for something a bit different. He refuses to tell her what they are, and while she’s out there feeding them she runs into Lana the reporter.
I don’t really know why Lana was standing in the middle of the woods outside the asylum smoking, maybe she was pondering how to get in, maybe she thought if she waited long enough she’d somehow find an in, but either way Sister Eunice’s guilty expression gives her enough leverage to be taken into the asylum via the creepy underground tunnel, or ‘death chute’.
Back in the present, Adam’s not looking so great. And I’m pretty sure he won’t be able to play guitar again. His wife has discovered that all the doors have been locked, leading her to go down the death chute. She probably won’t want to have sex in it now.
Jumping back to the 60s, where a big chunk of the season will probably be taking place, Dr Frankenstein has taken Kit to do some of his experiments on him, not good news for Kit. The doctor asks him a bunch of questions about his crime before finding a microchip in his neck. Well, that’s not supposed to be there! Especially since it grows legs and runs off. Oh you aliens you,
In the meantime, Lana is left to her own devices wandering around the asylum, trying to find Bloody Face. She really doesn’t let up does she? She finds a room in the solitary confinement corridor and is knocked out by a mutated looking arm. Lights out.
The fact that Lana got a chance to wander around the asylum is something that has Sister Jude all up in a tizzy, since they’re totally hiding something (though the extent of it I don’t think she knows). Sister Jude is giving Sister Eunice a real lecture, but it all turns around when Sister Eunice has a little moment and tells her that the cane that she is about to be hit with isn’t bit enough, and instead gets the biggest cane possible, calls herself stupid and begs to be punished. Aww Sister Eunice, come here and I will buy you soft toys.
Instead of punishing her, Sister Jude dismisses her and tells her never to call herself stupid again or she’ll cane her bloody. That’s probably one of the sweetest and most threatening things I’ve ever heard.
Aww man I knew this was going to happen. Sister Jude has Lana strapped down in the bed, having admitted her into the mental ward under the guise of curing her homosexuality. Sister Jude blackmailed Lana’s girlfriend into signing a written confession that Lana is a lesbian, by threatening her teaching career and reputation. With homosexuality being illegal at the time, it has enough truth to it that it seems to be a legitimate reason for incarceration into an asylum. So, if you’re learning a lesson about relationships from this show, love doesn’t exist and happiness is impossible.
Sister Jude decides to do some investigating of her own, going to the room that contained what is implied to be a mutant, and has another encounter with the fine doctor, who is scrubbing the walls of the room with disinfectant.
Sister Jude: Don’t think you can pull one over on me, doctor. I’ll ferret it out, whatever it is you are up to.
Dr Arden: A ferret. Delightful creature. I used to keep one as a pet, until it bit me. Then I broke its neck.
The episode ends with Adam Levine’s wife coming across what I can only assume is Bloody Face in the death chute. Happy honeymoon.
What did you guys think of the return of American Horror Story? Are you happy with the new locale, or do you miss the Harmons and the house?
Make sure to check out the rest of our CC Screen coverage of the Fall shows, new and returning, right here on the site.
