Call of Duty Is Really The Best Gaming Franchise Ever

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Call of Duty is, without argument, the best video game franchise in gaming history – ever. For those of you with arguments as to why this series is not the best gaming franchise ever, your points are invalid simply because they do not support the fact that this game franchise is the best game franchise in all of gaming history of all time.

In fact, I’d wager that those that believe that they have an opposing view on this subject actually do believe that they do; but really they don’t. Does that sentence make sense? No. Good. Neither do those fools arguing against the greatest franchise in gaming ever.

So why is Call of Duty the greatest franchise ever? Well, you all should know this already considering that your agreeance on this being the greatest gaming franchise of all time is what that lead you here in the first place. So really, why should I go into detail on why this is the greatest franchise in gaming ever? Considering that this is already common knowledge amongst the gaming community it seems kind of moot to even discuss it. Heck, I’d be wasting both my own time and yours by over-analysing what is simply the greatest thing to happen to gaming since women picked up a microphone.

What do women and Call of Duty have in common? Nothing much really, other than some can often be found playing the franchise. I mean, if gamer-girls like it, then it must be good. Heck, it’s so good that even gamer-guys like it. So if you’re able to pull in two halves of a gender and put them together around a common entity, then that entity must be some kind of godlike entity. I can’t be wrong here, because it’s Call of Duty.

Did you know that Call of Duty is one of those games that require a large amount of skill to even become good at? I mean, how many arena shooter players out there can 360 no-scope a headshot on a moving target whilst falling off a building? Probably none. Because none of those wusses are as good as the Call of Duty gaming elite. This video here proves that.

You know what else Call of Duty is better than? Everything else of course. That’s what. Those fools winning millions of dollars in DoTA and it’s clones (LoL, DoTA2, HoN, etc.) tournaments, useless. I’d like to see them attain a KDR of 20:1 (kills/deaths). They probably couldn’t even find the correct trigger to shoot. They probably have it mapped to X; those wusses. Yeah, that’s right, I play BLOPS2 on a Playstation 3. It is, after all, the superior version of the game.

You see a lot of game franchises change and evolve over the course of their franchises history, usually with each one getting better and better while adding more and more features to make themselves increasingly fun. Call of Duty doesn’t do this. Why should it? The formula is already perfect – why fix what is not broken. Or even better, why add more sugar to a cake that is already giving you diabetes? You don’t want to die do you? No. Having a Call of Duty game with more Call of Duty on top certainly would be a danger to your personal health. This is why, I believe, Activision has taken to releasing a new topping to the franchises cake each year; rather than giving us all the toppings at the same time.

You know what? Why is Call of Duty even likened to things like video games? It is clearly its own beast that is clearly deserving, neigh, is entirely its own thing. Video games and Call of Duty are two entirely different breeds. Video games are for children, but Call of Duty is clearly not. The fully adult audience knows this to be the case and is why you never encounter an eight year old with a sniper-rifle sitting in some corner somewhere that’s just out of the games drawing field. Doesn’t this paragraph entirely destroy the premise of this article? Yes. But it also proves that Call of Duty transcends what it means to be a video game and notifies us of the glory that is Call of Duty.

So once again, Call of Duty is a gaming franchise so great that it can no longer be associated with video games. Call of Duty was the greatest franchise ever in gaming history, but now it is some kind of god that can not be trifled with. If you do, you shall incur its wrath.

If you’re having an argument about why Call of Duty is the greatest franchise ever and just can’t find the words you need to win, like Call of Duty does, then just link the clueless fools to this article. It’ll win for you. Like Call of Duty does.

 

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Gaming for as long as my memory serves me, probably longer.

  • Somebody

    So f*cking biased. Go home and play your kiddy Call of Duty games, noob
    Everyone has their games top play, so stop blaming this or that.

  • Someone

    Whoever writes this thing should be fired.
    What are you thinking ? Blowing CoD’s d*ck to disrepect the MOBA gamers ?

  • How much you get paid by Activision to write this ass kissing article?

    • Somebody

      I guess he’d have to blow every single d*ck from Activision, lol

      • jimmy Tsao

        probably did it for free, what a loser!

    • Over 9000

    • You do get that this is a rip on CoD right? Full of sarcasm and awesome.

    • Dustin Giffin

      You… did realize that this was a parody right guys?

  • Somebody

    Really ? Even disrespecting the MOBA gamers to promote this sh*itty FPS title ? Have you ever heard of Counter-Strike ? That’s the best FPS ever

  • Before you all go assuming he’s been paid off, Poe’s law states: “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won’t mistake for the real thing”
    “Any sufficiently advanced parody is indistinguishable from a genuine kook.”

    • Granty

      Yeah I don’t think people got your point man, but nicely put XD
      Yo folks, clear your heads of fanaticism for a moment and let’s see if we can all remember a word called “sarcasm”; or as Irving put it “sufficiently advanced parody”.
      I think the authors choice of using examples of female gamers was out of place considering they could be taken offensively with he sarcastic tone, but hopefully people will understand it’s the only un-sarcastic point in the article.

      • I was actually trying to parody the whole gamer-girl separation in demographics. Why do they count as something other than a gamer? I tried to reinforce it with the guy-gamer bit, but I think it failed somewhere.

        • I think the gamer-girl / gamer-guy thing came across fine. It is silly that there are even distinctions anymore. So many people from all walks of life play games. It should just be considered “gamers” period. No matter what kind of games you play, your sex, or your age.

  • I love you Benjamin Webb.

    • Somebody

      Those fools winning millions of dollars in DoTA and it’s clones (LoL,
      DoTA2, HoN, etc.) tournaments, useless. I’d like to see them attain a
      KDR of 20:1 (kills/deaths). They probably couldn’t even find the correct
      trigger to shoot.

      I totally disagree with this phrase. Why ? Just why ? Everybody has their games, but dissing other genres like this is totally unacceptable.

      • Dustin Giffin

        Someone didn’t get that this was a parody.

  • eliya

    OK… no battlefield 3 no cs no dota 2.. i played 9 years CS , this game is since 2001 and still owning new games like COD. so stfu

  • so why is COD the greatest franchise ever?

  • JD unofficial reply

    Oh, I remember last time I went to that Call of Duty Tournament, and it was awesome. The prizepool was $1.6 million, the tournament had sound proof booths, top-notch broadcasting equipment and display, teams of commentary from different languages (i.e. Chinese, English), beautiful auditorium and a wonderful turnout.

    Oh shit —

  • bob

    This is very well written from a child. But i am sad now for wasting 3min of my life on this shit…
    Ps u know how shit a game is if u have to compair it to a moba insted of a other fps.op

  • Kody Clark

    Seriously? Zombies is fun to an extent at best. Kill yourself before you write another dumb article.

  • Exion

    *reads cooments* I think some readers are missing the writers irony here. This sin’t a kiss ass article. It’s actually taking the piss out of people who think that COD is the greatest hting ever. Try reading this whole thing again, but with a sarcastic voice in mind.

  • lol, this is obviously a piss take on the greatest game series of all time and ever and ever and forever more and eternity and with a million more bl’ops games on top, Don’t anyone forget it from all the ps3 cod fan boys/girls.

    *disclaimer: I use a P.C. =D

  • Glax

    the ultimate troll…great article

  • Fry

    Can’t tell if troll or high…

  • inage

    This should come with a disclaimer “Troll Post”

  • Wow, the amount of people that don’t get this baffles me…

    • lolitsKesh

      ^^^^^ This….

      Amusing article, but what more amusing is the response 🙂

  • MyBodyIsReady

    Very funny, totally original & it’s totally refreshing to hear a NEW way for people to hate Call of duty. Because there are not enough haters, I get tired of hearing all the praise online and it feels like I’m the only one who doesn’t like this franchise.

    See, I can write a Parody too

    Also, @ 99% of the commenters here, you’re all a bunch of fucking idiot’s. The irony that you’ve all come here to whine about how childish CoD is yet missed the blatantly obvious joke is stupid.

  • Jumble John o’ Jay

    I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

  • Nice! You know a post is praise worthy when I poke my head out of my cave where I am hiding, and risk Phil’s wrath upon my head. Though, honestly he is probably too amused by the people who simply don’t get the humor behind this to yell at me too much… Good Job Mate! Everyone needs to read this!

  • *sees article title* D=
    *reads article* =D

    Well played, Benjamin. I see what you did there. I approve, good sir.

  • This is the Best Gaming Article EVER!

    I love you CC. <3

  • Dustin Giffin

    I’m not sure which part of this is more amusing… the article itself or the absurd amount of people who thought this guy was being serious?
    How stupid can you people be
    People these days tend to be smartasses 90% of the time, I figured you’d be able to catch SARCASM a mile away. Now people are just dumbasses ;3 read more often, you’ll be able to understand parodies when you see them

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