How To Hate Everything People Love

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I’m not sure whether it is the damaged fan blowing an irritating gust of air at me at inconsistent intervals, or if it’s the fact that my Wii is covered in a fine layer of dust that makes my allergies flare up everything I approach it, or if it’s just the fact that I’m fed up with thing’s just plain ‘sucking’. It’s just the irritations of being surrounded by ever present ‘suckage’.

The internet has shaped itself into the world’s largest shouting contest. With millions of people all scratching at the walls of this big old digital universe we call ‘the net’, just to have their opinion heard. ‘Opinions’ – now there is something thats sucks. Am I right internet inhabitants?

There are those of you who have put up a tent inside of cyberspace and make it your goal to express the hate and anger you feel within you. Your entitled to that, so why am I rambling? Why am I even writing this?

Well it’s quite simple. I’m going to give you pathetic internet trolls a crash course in how to hate everything, become a hermit and then die.

1. The first thing you need to do in order to start hating everything, is to register an account on a website with a username that shows other hatemates that they can not even comapre to your level of badass hatred of all that sucks, such as “SuckingSUCKS69er”.

2. Find out what ‘normal people’ like, then make it your personal mission to stalk every page on the entire internet related to that thing, making sure that anyone who reads said pages knows exactly how much the things they like ‘sucks balls’. Now that is hating like a professional.

3. Begin de-evolution into a being that lives under the bridge known as 4chan, some refer to these creatures as ‘trolls’. Your de-evolution is complete once you have made several dubstep remixes of gay porn and uploaded them to youtube.

4. Isolate yourself from all forms of social encounters in the physical world, because they ‘suck’ and you hate your Uncle Reg.

Congratulations you are now a professional hater, be free my hatemates, there are people out their with opinions just waiting for you to tell them they are wrong and should die a painful death.

This brings me to my point – why all the hate? It seems every time a game comes out that achieves any level of popularity, there is the incredibly vocal trolls with the only goal of derailing and deconstructing the world around them. Does Call of Duty suck? Maybe. But why push hate on those who enjoy the things you do not? Why not allow them to enjoy what they enjoy?

Well it all boils down to the fact that these people need a sense of clarity that a game ‘sucks’. They need to feel as though someone agrees with them. They need to feel important, like they can taint people’s positive opinions.  These are the sad majority who need to hate everything. They have to hate the popular games, the indie games and even themselves. Because it’s their way of expressing their distain for the world they live in.

Should we hate the haters? No they don’t deserve that. Should we ignore them? No they don’t deserve that either. Should we coexist with them. Yes we should. Because we need the balance of love and hate. Games aren’t just about buying something then playing it anymore. The internet has spawned a whole other part of the gaming experience. The part in which you shout out to the masses words of love or words of hate.

And honestly in this modern gaming environment, where we are all connected by the internet, everything just wouldn’t be in it’s right place without a little bit of hate here and there. Express yourself kids, it’s good for you.

Senior Editor & Anime Specialist
  • Anonymous

    Some people just want to hate anything that other people like. Hipsters and trolls mostly…

    • Anonymous

      You said it buddy, you said it.

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