Scene is set : Capsule Computers Head Quarters (somewhere in the world)
MasterAbbott walks into the interrogation room, wearing a slick brown suit and a matching fedora hat. He takes a seat, stares down his suspect, then begins his questioning.
MasterAbbott : So, could you tell me where you were on the night of the 14th of October 1977 ?
Suspect : LOOK I DIDN’T DO IT … I’M INNOCENT I TELL YA!!!
MasterAbbott : YOU’RE LYING.
Abbott takes out his trusty magical notebook, opens it up to the right page and begins looking for hard evidence. He thinks to himself, “hmmm… everything’s so neat in this notebook. It’s organized so well: people, clues, locations…I can find everything I need in here, plus I never knew I had such neat hand writing – must be this ultra-pointy led pencil I keep in my pocket!”.
Abbott glances through his clues and finds the evidence he needs to nail this scumbag.
MasterAbbott: Hmm, let’s see…I have proof that you were at home playing Pong on your Atari 2600 ! Your fingerprints all over it, and PLUS your mum said she could hear you complaining and yelling that the DOT was too small and moving too fast, and the other PONG board was cheating! Then she heard a loud crash, and moments later saw you running from the scene of the crime.
Suspect swallows awkwardly, and adjusts his collar, feeling very uneasy.
Suspect: …. OK.. OK !!! It was me but I can explain. This new gaming console called the ATARI 2600 just got released today at the local store. Everyone’s been talking about how good this new game called PONG was, so I went and picked up both a new Black & White TV and the Atari 2600. I followed the instructions and connected it all up. Then I started playing PONG…that’s where it all started. The TV all of a sudden was flickering just when I was about to hit the pong ball, which made me miss and lose a point. Then just when I was about to win and needed one more point, the ATARI would FREEZE one me, so I had to reset the game and start all over again. I couldn’t WIN !! I lost EVERY SINGLE GAME. THEY WERE WORKING TOGETHER AND CHEATING I TELL YA !!! I KNOW THEY WERE !!! THEY BEAT ME 20 TIMES IN A ROW !!! No one beats me !!! NO ONE !!!
MasterAbbott : This all the evidence I need. You’re under arrest for the destruction of a defenceless black and white TV and an ATARI 2600. You have the right to remain silent …
Suspect : YEAH YEAH YEAH !! I KNOW I KNOW !! Just cuff me and take me away. That TV and ATARI got what was coming to them. I’ll be out in 6 months, and when I get out I’ll do it all over again, and this time Mr Smartypants DETECTIVE you won’t catch me !!!
MasterAbbott : 6 MONTHS !!! HA !!! By the time you get out they’ll have video game systems that’ll be 100x times smarter than you, they’ll be controller-less and also in 3D and will freeze up a whole lot more than this poor little ATARI ever did !!! Who knows they might even make a game about me sending you off to JAIL, now wouldn’t that be a sight to see. Take him away boys.
Abbott gets up and walks out the room, happy that another video game bully has been brought to justice.
Screen fades to black….
As you can see all I’ve had time for this week was L.A Noire. If you want the empowerment of sending scumbags to Jail, then run off to your local store and pick this game up. You won’t regret it, ROCKSTAR GAMES have really hit the ball out of the park with this potential “GAME OF THE YEAR” make sure you check out our review of the game here.
Now If you’d excuse me, I have work to do (runs into the closet to change into his black suite and fedora had). Somewhere out there another scumbag is throwing a controller at a poor defenceless TV, just because they can’t get pass the first level (tutorial) of whatever they are playing.
Enjoy your week. Remember, play hard or don’t play at all!
Senior Editor: Travis Bruno
Unfortunately this week I haven’t been playing a whole of different games since my time has been spent with family more often than not. But when I did have time of my own I have been spending it searching crime scenes for clues and interrogating suspects in L.A. Noire. After putting more time into the title I’d have to say that it really is an amazing game. I don’t think I have seen a title before that has went to such lengths with storytelling in recent memory that wasn’t just an RPG. It is good to see a title such as this, a blend of mystery and drama, do so well in the market. One thing that is interesting though, and that I actually appreciate, is the fact that the action sequences are not the biggest part of the game, but instead the interviews and clue collecting are. You can mess up during an action sequence as many times as you like and the game may just let you skip it with no consequence. Then again if you mess up all of your questions or don’t have enough evidence then you are left without a chance in the world.
Besides L.A. Noire I’ve also got my hands on Dead or Alive: Dimensions for the 3DS. I’ve put a decent amount of time into the game already since the first day I received it, and I’d have to say so far that it is the premier fighting title on the 3DS. Super Street Fighter IV may be more popular in some circles, but Dead or Alive’s three dimensional fighting is not only more advanced, but also more enjoyable as well. If only turning the 3D on didn’t make the screen play a little choppy. Also, it has a storyline! The idea that a fighting game can get away without a storyline is archaic in this day and age. Sure it takes a bit of work, but it at least shows fans that you are trying to develop your game further than your last title. Or you know… add two characters and charge $30 calling it new.
Senior Editor: Jed Bradshaw
This week I got about halfway through one of last years summer of arcade games: Hydro Thunder. So far I am enjoying it a lot, although the graphics look like something from the last generation of consoles. The addition of collectibles was ill thought. Other than that though, I love the off the wall psychics and awesome shortcuts. Jumping other boats to take 1st is also loads of crazy awesome!
Senior Editor: Dylan Radcliffe
I bought myself the LG Revolution, and it is one sexy phone. It runs on the Android OS and I have been playing random games on that. I refuse to pay for the games though, so they are all the free ones I could get my hands on. The current list is: Unblock Me, Trapball, Alchemy, Nova, Puzzles, Chippers Challenge, SpeedX 3D, Abduction 2, Impossible Level Pack, Fruit Ninja, YooNinja NinJump. The list keeps growing daily because I tend to find a bunch of games that are either already free or I know how to get for free. Since the Android is an open OS (one of the main reasons I wanted to buy it) if you know just a small amount of programming you can do a lot with this phone – that and if you don’t mind settling for ads, there are free ad supported apps that are the same as the paid ones. I also started playing Pokemon White. Pokemon White is a fun game and all, but amazingly I am unable to get my main six that I like to have. I tend to be able to slowly fill in all the gaps for the six starters that I like, but I now have a fighting type pokemon in my group and the stupid Patrat Pokemon simply because I need all six. My Water type of the group keeps switching because every time I get a new Water type, he tends to disappoint me and I replace him with another Water type. I’ve managed to accumulate three that I want to keep, but the other three are still up in the air and there are no Pokemon that are actually catching my fancy. I treat my Pokemon as real creatures: they have the choice from the minute I start using them to either impress me or disappoint me. If they disappoint me they are quickly gotten rid of. Also, it isn’t like I expect them to win every battle, but if they consistently lose (especially in easy battles where they had the upper hand in everything) then they aren’t worth my time.
Senior Editor: Dustin Spencer
This week has been a busy one for my 360. I started playing Dungeons & Dragons: Daggerdale, which honestly is starting to feel like more of a chore than entertainment. D&D is a brilliant franchise that I have recently started to enjoy, and this game just doesn’t represent it as it is not only buggy, it is bland and somewhat boring so far. Maybe that will change, but for now I just feel that this release is one that will be quickly forgotten and deemed a cash-in rather than a worthy entry into the series. I have also put a bit more time into L.A. Noire, which I am still enjoying greatly. I am almost done with homicide at the moment I believe and the story is really picking up. Thankfully if I go a day or so without playing I still feel like I can hop right back in where I left off. Not too many games are able to accomplish that anymore, which makes L.A. Noire that more worthy of a GOTY (so far) candidate.
This week I purchased my first Games of Demand title through Xbox Live with Beautiful Katamari. It has been a long time since I played a Katamari title, but this is by far one of my favorites in the series. Still hoping for a 3DS release as well. Other than 360 titles, I have been trying to get my head around Dream Trigger 3D for the 3DS, which is a fantastic game, but very hard to pick up and play due to the learning curve and control scheme. Other than that, Pokemon, Strange Journey & a bit of Borderlands round up this week nicely and hopefully next week’s release of The Hunted will live up to the hype as I am anticipating it greatly due to the gameplay…and Lucy Lawless.
Editor: Ben Webb
I recently came across APB: Reloaded, which is the relaunch of the cancelled RealTimeWorlds MMO, All Points Bulletin. You see, folks down here in Australia never recieved the game in its original run due to RTW not wanting to shill for servers here. I would also like to point out that a large number of Aussies were dying for this game and RTW not catering to an Australian audience is what could have been a deciding factor in their demise. But that is just me over-thinking things – at the very least, our market could have kept them from becoming broke at an increased rate, but we’ll never know now. Anyway, the game is really, really fun! And even though I’m accessing the servers from down here in AUS, I don’t experience any of the lag that some users more locally complain about…though I do get other errors (freaking punkbuster!). It’s still in beta, and problems do happen and get patched out in this phase, so let’s hope I don’t continue to get random PB kicks at launch.
Also this week I’ve also been playing…you guessed it, QuakeLive! I think my skills are starting decline due to my newfound addiction to APB:R. No incredibly awesome scores this week 🙁
I’ve also been playing Yu-Gi-Oh World Championship 2011. Man, I absolutely love that game! It’s got the children’s card games, the card games on motorcycles and even Jack Atlas! ‘Eff yeah!
Lastly, I may or may not have a review for The Witcher 2 coming out in a day or two (or three… or never). I don’t want to talk too much about it here, BUT IT IS SO AWESOME! I’m loving this game so far, so make sure to check back on the review when it’s up.
Editor: Matt Vella
I’ve been taking a slight break from the gaming side of Capsule Computers recently and focusing more on the other side of the entrainment world, so I’ve been ‘playing’ Blu-ray discs more so lately! My reviews of Winter’s Bone and Chobits Collection will go up in the next few days, and I’m quote stoked to share them with everyone! As for video games however, my passion has been revived for ‘Words with Friends‘ on the iPhone. My user name is Smelloner. Find me and start a game, and have your butt annihilated!!!!!
Oh yeah, and I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet, but that Call of the Dead map for the Black Ops expansion pack Escalation is epic to say the least! I really wish they’d hurry up and release a COD game focused just on the zombie mode for the 360, that’d be amazing!
Editor: Michael Marr
Not much time for gaming as of late due to a heap of university stuff being piled on as of late. The only things I’ve really gotten around to playing this week have comprised of a little bit of Portal 2 Co-op mode, and a little bit of Dragon Age 2, starting up a new Mage profile for a second, alternate playthrough.
I still have yet to fully complete Portal 2’s co-op mode, although I have to admit, I’m certainly reveling in the humour level delivered even in a 2 player game. That said however, the co-op puzzles I’ve found to be so much more difficult than the single player ones. The additional of 4 portals instead of 2 really forces the mind to think logically, co-operatively, creatively, and in some senses, competitively. I can’t be the only one hoping to appease GLaDos more than my partner, can I? More than anything, I like the fact that it keeps the cruel humour charm of the single player campaign, and mixes it in with the co-op campaign. I also find it particularly funny how GLaDoS even tends to sledge her own kind, and taunt the “can never die” thing. If you haven’t played Portal 2 yet… then why the hell not? No excuses. GO BUY IT. NOW.
Editor: Adam Tabor
So I am back from my little vacation to Myrtle Beach and now that I have had my fill of fresh sea air and UV rays, sadly I return to the real world of bills and boring day jobs. Not much gaming was done but I was able to pick up a new game for my 3DS while I was there: Dead or Alive Dimensions. If you played DoA games before then you know the drill: hot babes fighting and beating the crap out of one another and jiggly physics all around. There were dudes in the game…but sorry I wasn’t paying attention, the physics engine of the game has my focus. I also rented Riden IV on the 360 and its a nice little shoot’em up. I also need to get back to LA Noire. For now I’m on my PC listening to Costa Del Sol (or the beach theme) from FFVII and missing the beach.
Editor: Alexis Ayala
We now return you to another gripping tale from, A New Yorker in Sydney!
Editor: Jorel Alvarez
I haven’t done much gaming in recent weeks thanks to the endless amount of uni assignments. But this week I thought I’d take a break from hammering my head and try playing Pockie Ninja! As I’m a big fan of Naruto and Bleach, when someone suggested I play it, I went straight to it! One of the things I hate about myself in regards to gaming is my indecisiveness when it comes to creating/choosing my character. There’s 18 starting characters to choose from in Pockie Ninja so with that many choices, I think it took me around half an hour just to decide who I wanted to be (which ended up being Aburame Shino by the way). I’m pretty much new to the online gaming scene. The only games I used to play online were Farmville and Restaurant City on Facebook to pass the time at uni (don’t judge me), so playing a more enjoyable game like Pockie Ninja got me all fired up and motivated to work on my brain-bashing assignments!
Editor: Luke Halliday
This week I have been playing Marvel vs. Capcom 3: The Fate of Two Worlds. Yes, quite the ominous subtitle for a game. I mean the fate of not just one, but two worlds rest in the hands of a bunch of Capcom characters and Marvel superheroes. What is happening to the worlds, you ask? I wouldn’t be able to tell you, but it all sounds quite spooky. The game itself is pretty neat, although pretty much everyone online uses the same team: Wolverine, Iron Man and Albert Wesker. But that’s not the games fault, it’s all you punks making me rage quit, fist-through TV style. So please, no Iron Wolves Wesker combination’s punks.