“In Bungie news, the Covenant war rages on. Here with the story is Jed.”
Jed: “So far on the home-front, over 33 billion kills have occurred. In this ongoing war of attrition of over 24,000 years, just over 1.3 billion occurrences of violence have broken out. Probably one of the most amazing things to note is over 200 thousand soldiers have registered a killionare. Plus, over 900 trillion credits have been earned. And you thought the national debt was bad! Oh wait, it is still worse. Back to you.”
“Thank you. Now, in other news, the Grunt genocide rages on in parts of the Graph System. Here with the story is Cortana.”
Cortana, ” Freakin’ suicide grunts musta killed John-117 a couple dozen times. THEY MUST DIE! Plus, I love how their heads pop into confetti.”
“So do we, Cortana, so do we. For Capsule Computers, this is (Censored) signing off.”
