Alright, for those of you who don’t know, Amnesia: Dark Descent is a scary game for the PC. A VERY scary game. You are tasked with traversing a game where as you turn a corner in this dilapidated and run down house you might notice some otherworldly creature running just out of sight. Unsure what to do, you might either try to A) follow it to see what it was so you know to avoid it in the future (unlikely) or B) run away screaming like mad until you find a nice, cozy corner wimper in. Option B is likely your choice because in this game, you have no force with which to fend off these terrifying creatures, making them even scarier because this means you will likely not get to know your enemy very well. If you even THINK you see or hear something that isn’t you slowly creeping around the vicinity, you run away screaming like your life depends on it.
In most other scary games, you generally have SOMETHING to fight back with, meaning you need to figure out how to gird you loins, grow a tremendous beard and go toe to toe with those bastards. In this game, however, you are defenseless, you must get through it by hiding and hoping the enemy doesn’t notice you out of the corner of it’s eye and then comes running at you to bite your nipples off and/or devour your face. As you might imagine, this makes for a moderately traumatic experience. I’ll be the first one to admit that I can’t play scary games alone and even when I have another person with me, THEY need to be the one holding the controller during the scary parts. Don’t know why it matters who’s holding the controller, it just does. IT JUST DOES. The only reason I got through Dead Space is because my friend did most of the work while I directed. And by directed I mean shouting and yelling to go the hell down that corridor and stop trying to coerce another creature to leave its hiding spot and try to kill you.
As awesome as Amnesia looks, I don’t think I’ll ever play it. Maybe one day I’ll be feeling particularly adventurous and purchase the game, but you can bet I won’t get farther than 10 minutes before I dissolve into a bubbling puddle of fear and terror while frantically mashing alt+F4 to get the abomination off my screen. Luckily though! I have found a video of somebody who probably has the same reaction I would have while playing the game, and it is hilarious. Ever see a video showing somebody playing “that game” where after a few seconds a big, scary face pops up on the screen and the victim then proceeds freak the hell out. Anyways, watch this (also embedded) for some laughs at another persons expense. Warning: there is some “language” and might not be for those who are particularly jumpy.